Are digital devices ruining our relationships?

Digital devices are often pointed at as the main culprit when we talk about deteriorating family and social relationships. Despite the state of permanent connection we’re supposed to live in, modern societies are probably the loneliest that have ever been. So before jumping to conclusions, let’s examine what is commonly referred to as the “Cigarette of the 21st century”.

First, let’s define digital addiction. It can be an addiction to the Internet and social media, as well as an addiction to video games. It’s characterized by a compulsive use of computers or smartphones, as well as unusually long amounts of time spent in front of screens. It affects people’s social and family relationships and makes their mood vary according to whether they’re “connected” or not. Symptoms often include an inability to control the time spent in front of a screen, an attitude of denial towards the problem, a feeling of sadness or emptiness when away from their devices as well as a loss of interest in any other activity.

But can we really talk about addiction when it comes to digital devices? Well that’s debatable. Some would argue that no technology is addictive in itself, but neither is heroin (see our article about addiction). Others, like Tristan Harris – founder of the Center for Humane Technology and initiator of the “Time Well Spent” movement – claim that technology is conceived by designers with the purpose of being addictive. Developers follow the principles of behavioral psychology and make using the services so easy that it’s often harder to stop using them than to keep on doing so.

Nevertheless, the consequences of digital addiction are all too real to be ignored. There are physical consequences such as disordered eating behaviors and disturbed sleeping patterns. There are also psychological consequences such as sadness, depression and aggressive behavior. And finally, there are social consequences such as losing interest in social activities and hence becoming isolated from friends and family members. But what really comes first? Any addiction is usually a means of escaping reality and often the result of someone’s inability to connect with other human beings in an adequate and satisfying manner.

So instead of praising or diabolizing new technologies, we should shift our focus to figuring out what causes them to become addictive. Digital addiction is indeed a symptom rather than the cause of deteriorating relationships. We should therefore aim at strengthening our human connections rather than our virtual ones in order to avoid the abuses of technology.

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